THE DAY THE DOG ROLLED IN PEE AND THEN JUMPED ON ME

 tunnel vision dress, vintage coat and shoes, jewelry from my salvation and sister

 I got this coat for mega cheap, and, like, I was really stoked on it, right? It felt like something my grandma would have worn and looked like something Penny Lane would approve of. I thought, "Gee, I like my new coat so much that I am willing to sweat my butt off and wear it outside all day at Hollenbeck, no matter what that crazy sun says!" In fact, I was so excited that I decided to include a couple of my [many] dogs on my adventure.

Whistling (in my head. happy root-toot-this-day-rules kind of whistling) along the path, I smiled at all the other lively people dressed in tank tops and shorts while waving and saying howdy to all of their dogs as I passed.

Absent from my surroundings from only paying attention to my own blissful thoughts, I failed to notice that my dog had found a puddle of urine on the sidewalk.

A big puddle of pee.
A big, smelly, muddy puddle of pee.

"Oh, hey, pee! Normally I would lift my leg and wizz, but this time I would rather collapse into you and saturate my inch long fur with your pungent odor!", said my dog to the stink puddle.

So, he did. And before I knew it, back on his feet he went and onto my new awesome coat he leaped, rubbing his soaked body on me. Yaaaaayyyyy!!!!!

Needless to say, I spent the rest of my otherwise buoyant day extremely furious and smelling like piss.

The end.

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